Reflecting on the past 2 years since starting this blog; where I’ve been and where I’m going.
It’s hard to believe I started this blog 2 years ago (exactly 1 year after re-embarking on full-time service). My aim was not only to motivate and encourage those who were on the same path as I, but to inspire those who were considering coming on board.
For those of you who have been loyally following my entries, after almost 2.5 years into my journey, you noticed I decided to step down to Auxiliary service. Needless to say it was a difficult decision. I experienced many life altering events last year; the passing of 3 of my family members within a month of each other and a significant move to another state – the beautiful Commonwealth of Virginia. I don’t regret stepping down as it’s granted me the opportunity to continue enjoying service without the pressure of having to meet a yearly requirement. After all, what matters most is quality of service NOT quantity.
During those two and a half years of full-time service, I had the privilege of participating in the formation of a French Congregation in Florida and the honor of supporting 2 students in their spiritual journey which eventually led to their baptism as devoted JWs. However, I have to admit, since moving to VA my attention has been divided. My husband and I bought our first home together; we acquired a 4-legged Weimaraner named Charlie Blue; I re-certified as a Fitness Instructor; and, I also re-embarked on full-time work as a Licensed Therapist. Despite this, I’ve continued serving as a pioneer because I’ve found it’s what truly gives me joy.
That being said, I recently read a “Farewell Letter” from a dear friend who decided to end her 3-year self-reflection blog in order to embark on another venture. Among other things, she writes about “compartmentalizing.” In psychology, “[…]compartmentalization is a subconscious defense mechanism used to avoid the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person’s having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions or beliefs within themselves. Compartmentalization allows these conflicting ideas to co-exist by inhibiting direct or explicit acknowledgement and interaction between separate compartmentalized states[…]” Tangney. Leary, Mark R. Leary and Price, June, eds. Handbook of self and identity.
Although compartmentalizing can sometimes carry negative connotations, it is a healthy coping mechanism. For example, how else would one be able to leave the office at 5pm and refuse to think about work for the rest of the evening? Or, at its extreme, how would a surgeon who has children of her own perform a difficult and risky surgery on a patient who is a child?
One wants to compartmentalize but, certainly not “push out.” This is because pushing out a traumatic event could lead to painful memories and nightmares which may provoke anxiety or even full blow panic attacks. That being said, isolating and focusing on difficult issues separately is something I’ve done for most of my professional life as a licensed clinical social worker. I’ve also undergone therapy for many years in order to cope with past issues thus, not “pushing it out” or “burying it.”
Just as I do, my friend wears many hats…she’s an educator, a traveler, a photographer and a writer, but most importantly she’s a devoted JW. In the end, isn’t that what’s most important? Despite our varying various interests, ones devotion to JW comes first. Whether I’m serving full-time or not shouldn’t shape who I am. I believed for a long time that I was either a “good witness” or a “bad witness” and that this was determined, in large part, by whether I was a full-time servant or not. Is this necessarily true? NO. What matters most is my devotion to Jah; my core values and, my obedience to his laws. These traits are not measured by how many hours I dedicate to volunteer service on a yearly basis; They’re measured by my words and actions on a daily basis. For this reason, I’ve decided to continue blogging about my experiences as I feel my thoughts and feelings about this work may benefit readers out there!
On a side note, this year will be exceptionally exciting as my husband and I have applied to attend the International Convention next year; we hope to be invited! Also, the Francophone search has once again started in Richmond! I am, once again, wholeheartedly supporting the “pre-group” in efforts of finding French speaking individuals who may be interested in learning Bible truths.
That being said, I hope my readers enjoy reading my future entries as much as I enjoy writing them!
🦋VL
The Pioneer Road 