“What do I want?”

“To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul.” Simone Weil

I saw it as an opportunity to redeem myself; a chance to make up for past mistakes.

A chance to use my time wisely and shine by genuinely helping others, and in the process, reflect God’s love and patience.

I wanted to make my Creator, my husband and myself proud.

These are the 3 reasons I decided to re-embark on the pioneer road. It’s been 2 years now and as I look back, I can say it’s  been time well spent.  I’ve not only had the opportunity to help others, but I’ve felt God’s precious love and peace in the process.

Upon starting the pioneer, I signed an application…a sort of written agreement.
To date, Jah has definitely fulfilled his part of the contract. He’s blessed my efforts in so many ways. As I look introspectively, I come to the realization that my desire to feel rooted has been a strong driving force during the past year.

Feeling rooted or “grounded” makes one feel safe, secure and overall content. This sense of security is negatively affected by feelings of fearfulness. Loss of health, financial instability or emotional insecurity are all factors which can contribute to feeling vulnerable, thus afraid. With all of the horrific events going in the world, it’s no wonder one can sometimes feel insecure.

That being said, I’ve experienced some major life events occur during the past few years, my own illness and emotional struggles, my grandmothers health problems and subsequent passing and lastly my fathers death. I’ve also made some conscious decisions during this time, like taking on a full time job again and purchasing a new home.

Thinking back to lessons learned during the past years I’ve come to the realization that it’s best to be honest with myself regarding my ability to fulfill commitments which require time, energy and effort. See, throughout my adult life I’ve had a knack for biting more than what I can chew. Given this, I’ve had to repeatedly ask myself… What do I want? What do I value? And …how can I continue to live a positive, fruitful life?

I want to…

…serve Jah my Creator way He desires and deserves to be served.
….continue to love my neighbour, whether they agree or disagree with my beliefs; whether they serve or not the same God I worship and love.
…..continue to have a sense of security and stability in my life.
…have a strong commitment to a worthwhile cause while feeling strongly rooted in my beliefs.
…continue to fulfill my God given purpose in our congregation and in my neighborhood.

Pioneering has given me the opportunity to connect with others in a deep and meaningful way. It goes beyond social work or my work as a therapist. I pride myself having the ability to put myself in other people’s shoes and see the big picture. After all, if everything I see is based on my own identity and beliefs, relating to others becomes more difficult or even impossible.

Despite stepping down to auxiliary service, I will continue to take time to whole heartedly serve people in my community while managing to maintain my balance on this tightrope called life.

🦋VL